One of the things that I thought would be extremely interesting would be to try and research some statistics on this topic, as one person has already suggested. However, I was not able to come away with much. Although I found plenty of reputable sources that gave quantitative facts about sexually transmitted diseases, teen pregnancy, and whatnot, I did not come across any such figures to help explain the phenomenon behind having sex in public, and more specifically in a college setting.
However, reading an ethnographic article by Debra Curtis (which is cited at the bottom of this entry) has helped to put this lack of information into context. Although it may be relatively easy to collect data based on medical records or birth certificates, when it comes to individuals giving out personal information, the collection of such information becomes more difficult. Curtis explains, "Not having access to this interior space may be an inevitable obstacle in sexuality research no matter how loosely structured and open-ended our interviews are crafted to be” (p 112).
The article's real focus is on sexual desire and capitalism, but because it looks at sex toy parties to do so, it also says a lot about how these sex toy parties shape sexual identities. The sex toy parties are not unlike Tupperware parties, or Mary Kay make-up parties; a bunch of women gather together to look at products and possibly buy some of them. However, much in the way that Tupperware parties were forums for discontented women to bond together in the '50's and '60's, today sex toy parties are places where women can exchange sexual ideas and shape their sexual identities.
Curtis sits in on a number of these parties, and she notes that sometimes mothers and daughters attend them together, which shows that there is a certain degree of openness involved in these parties that we don't normally see in everyday life. In order to sell these products, the marketer needs to make her clients feel at ease, and feel comfortable with their surroundings as well as the products; "the marketer sanctions a liberal attitude about sex-an attitude that also suggests the possibility for new ways of experiencing pleasure" (p 102). The marketer must break down the rigidity that we normally associate with sexual conduct in order to sell products. But the idea of sexual openness does not diminish as soon as the seller walks out the door; these women are left with these ideas which then impact their everyday lives.
Those who feel it’s acceptable to engage in sexual acts in the presence of others could be influenced by phenomenon such as sex toy parties. Whether they are brought up feeling that they can be open about sex, or a third party makes them feel as such, a possible explanation to sex in front of others could simply be sexual openness and ease. For example, at a sex toy party, it is normal for guests to share their experiences, to recommend toys for each other, and to ask questions. To me, it sounds like this is a step toward feeling comfortable enough not only to talk about sex with others, but also to perform acts in front of others as well.
Curtis explores a quotation from Gayle Rubin about sexual relativism. She notes that not unlike previous misconceptions about "savages," we sometimes stereotype sexual differences as being disgusting or immoral. It is important to have an understanding surrounding these different sexual practices, and to acknowledge that they might be different, but not necessarily bad. Sex toy parties do very well at capitalizing on this aspect by making sexuality and desire seem normal and natural, thus justifying their toys as wholesome when thrown into that mix.
I think in addition to sexual openness and comfort, desire also plays a large role when discussing public sexual acts. Curtis realizes, "As 'wholesome' as Jennifer portrayed the cock ring and vibrator to be, for instance, consuming such products is still about realizing 'forbidden' and unmentionable desires" (p 102). I think desire will be an interesting direction to take for the next entry on this topic.
Curtis, Debra. "Commodities and Sexual Subjectivities: A Look at Capitalism and Its Desires." Cultural Anthropology 19 (2004): 95-121. Anthrosource.
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Sexuality in college is a very difficult issue to address. As you stated, on one hand students are asked to "go somewhere else" and yet the number of places they are not allowed makes sex a forbidden fruit. The stories in your blog entries demonstrate the fact that the lack of private space causes students to feel comfortable to a degree which in most situations would be considered unacceptable. At what point should fellow students speak up and voice their opinions that they feel uncomfortable? Sharing a room is not easy to begin with and being sexiled until 3 in the morning just adds to the social problems amongst roommates.
At the same time, you make the sexual participants' point of view understandable. Maybe their comfort level starts with kissing and after a while they come to terms with the fact that privacy is not an option and decide to continue. Your use of a case study with the sex toy parties proves the point that sexuality these days is becoming more acceptable and an open topic. If moms and daughters feel comfortable going to a sex toy party together then the lines of what is openly acceptable have obviously been blurred. I am curious to see what the differences between acceptable dorm life thirty years ago was like compared to that of today. I am sure that you would see the evolution of our culture and what we consider our social norms.
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